~I Miss My Friend~

Together at Grace's 1st Birthday

I have been thinking of Stacey a lot lately... I guess for many reasons, but the main thing is, I miss my friend.

So many things are happening in my life right now (and a lot is not happening for that matter), that I would love to talk with Stac about. I have had several dreams that I am talking to her and telling her just every day type stuff, or asking her opinion on big matters. In my dreams I always know she is gone, but it is like God has allowed us to talk, one last time, because He knows it is important.

I think lately it has been because Grace's birthday is coming up and I wish that Stacey and her beautiful daughter Peyton were going to be here to celebrate with us. Stacey and I spent a lot of time talking about how our daughters would grow up together and how we wanted to make lots of memories with them so they could look back and remember when they were kids and the crazy things their mommies would do...

I read on another blog about an article that Tony Snow wrote before he died of cancer. I have no idea how to do those linky things to another blog, so if you want to read the whole thing you can go to Jill's blog and link on her friends blog called "Praise and Coffee". Anyway the whole article is fabulous but one paragraph really stuck out for me because it totally reminded me of Stac.

When Jesus was faced with the prospect of crucifixion, he grieved not for himself, but for us. He cried for Jerusalem before entering the holy city. From the Cross, he took on the cumulative burden of human sin and weakness, and begged for forgiveness on our behalf.

Now before you think that I am comparing Stacey's death to that of Jesus, let me explain... Just before Stac died, she was sent home from the hospital with Hospice. She knew that her time left was very short. What she did with that time was absolutely amazing. She took the time to speak to the people who were dear to her, each one, individually. We all came away from it changed forever, simply because of her love. Just like Jesus, Stacey was more concerned about us than herself. She had things she wanted to say, and boy did she have her say!!! Stacey reprimanded me for things that I needed to change in my life, she encouraged me to grow in my faith and to follow Christ with my whole heart. She also shared things with me that I will probably never tell anyone, not because she told me not to, but because I feel it is a special, personal gift, from her to me... The point is, Stacey knew her time here was done, she knew death may be painful and scary, she knew she would not get to do all the things she wanted to before she died, that God's plan was different than what she would have chosen... She used the very short time she had left to pray for those she loved so dearly. She wanted us to use our time here wisely, because in the big picture, we all have a very short time left.

I know that I will think of Stacey often over the next several weeks, especially on Grace's birthday. I don't ever want to forget that my time here is very short, whether I die tomorrow or 50 years from now. I am so thankful that Stacey used her time wisely, so much so that when I read about what Jesus did, it reminds me of her.