Dreams of Yuppie Status~Short Lived

I went grocery shopping this afternoon to pick up some things for a 4th of July BBQ over at the Crowder’s. Well, I decided to go all out and shop at the local “Yuppie Mart” (Yoke’s) instead of my normal Wal-Mart trip. I reasoned that the last several times I have bought produce at Wal-Mart it has not been very good and the Crowder family deserves nothing but the very best! ;) So I donned my dressiest flip flops and made sure my shirt had no visible bleach marks or stains. I put Grace in an adorable little sun outfit and put fresh ponytails in her hair. We were all set for Yuppie Mart! ;) I soon found myself slowly browsing though every single aisle, marveling at the clean floors, organized shelves and even an olive bar where I could choose from literally dozens of different olives I had never heard of, for only $9.99 a pound! Grace was not nearly as impressed as her Mommy was, and started whining that she wanted to go “bye bye”. (Something she would never do at Wal-Mart, where she only whines to go see the toys!) Well, I got frustrated with my uncultured daughter and told her to stop whining and look at the Mango Ginger Cheese for only $30 a pound! She wasn’t having any part of my highfaluting ways, and continued to whine. As I was walking with head held high, shoulders squared, through the health food section of Yuppie Mart, my daughter vomited all over the beautiful shiny yuppie floors… I stood aghast as disgusting horrid chunks spewed out of my little girls face and all my dreams of shopping with the upper crust of Tri-Cities lay in a smelly mess on the polished floor and dripped off the shiny silver cart. I quickly collected myself, hailed an employee to let her know there had been a “spill” on aisle 7 and rushed my daughter to the bathroom to clean her up. After taking off her adorable outfit, (getting barf on her ponytails in the process), I wiped off my own shirt as best I could… I suddenly realized... that when your kid throws up in a store, there is a whole lot less mess for the Mommy to clean up. =) Now I faced a new dilemma. Do I go through the line and purchase the items in my cart or do I just leave the cart? (After all, the cream cheese was on sale for only 99 Cents and that is even cheaper than Wal-Mart. Yes, this thought actually went through my mind. Don’t judge me.) So I waltzed though the check out in my wet shirt, with my slightly disheveled daughter who was wearing nothing but sandals and faded Little Mermaid Underwear.

Unfortunately my baby girl is still not feeling well and has thrown up at home too. I was actually wishing for the embarrassment of Yuppie Mart, when I was on my hands and knees cleaning the carpet in my bedroom. =( It is now almost midnight and Grace is watching a movie on Mommy’s bed. Notice the beach towel covering my bed and handy barf bucket near by, “just incase”


My next shopping trip will be to Wal-Mart, where most of the kids (and parents for that matter) look like they recently barfed, and the floors are already dirty ;)