There are some indisputable facts about God that every “Good Christian” knows. One of which is God will never leave us or forsake us, and another is that all things work together for good, for those that love Him. Deuteronomy 31:8, Romans 8:28. Then there is the promise that God will give us whatever we ask in His name, to bring glory to God. John 14:13
Here is where the struggle comes in for me… I can think of many examples but I will stick to two.
My friend Stacey, died of breast cancer. Literally hundreds of people were praying for over a year that God would heal her. Stacey was one of the most amazing, influential Christians I have ever known. She was a wonderful young wife and a phenomenal Mommy to her baby girl. If God had chosen to heal Stacey, there would have been so many people reached for His glory. God chose to take her, for reasons I will never know until I see Him face to face.
The second example is a lady I know that became a Christian at a very young age. For most of her grade school years, her father raped her on a regular basis. She remembers crying out to God to make her daddy stop. She believed with all her heart that God would help her, but the help never came for many years. By then, she was a shell of a person and felt completely worthless as a human being. As an adult she has turned from God because she has no reason to believe that He is real… Again, I do not understand and can not begin to comprehend…
I am not saying that I do not believe God and take Him at His word, because I do. What I am trying to say is that a simple pat answer “God will provide”, “God will protect”, “Trust God”, so on and so forth, is not the answer that the hurting Christian needs to hear. Sometimes there just aren’t any answers, and trying to slap a Bible verse on a gapping wound like some kind of all powerful Band-Aid, only makes things worse.
When Stacey died I was so angry with God and I was afraid to admit that to anyone. When I told Ruth Taylor how angry I was, she just hugged me and said that it was understandable. She told me to tell God how angry I was and work through the process of trusting Him again. I am still working through that process almost a full year later. Does that make me a weak Christian? Is God unable to use me for His Glory, because I have not completely let go of my anger and hurt? I don’t think so.
As for my friend who has turned her back on God, for not protecting an innocent little child that cried out to Him. I know that God can work it out and heal her heart. I know that God could use her in amazing ways, helping others and bringing Glory to his name. But I also know that it is easier to believe, when you are not the one in the middle of it.
So it is important for us to remember as Christians, before we throw out a “Band- Aid”. That God works with each of us individually, and He does not expect us to go through a traumatic event, or even a not so traumatic event, and be “Super Christians”. God says we “work out our salvation”. Philippians 2:12 Day by day a little bit stronger, day by day showing grace and mercy to fellow believers who are working out their own salvation, just like me.
Here is where the struggle comes in for me… I can think of many examples but I will stick to two.
My friend Stacey, died of breast cancer. Literally hundreds of people were praying for over a year that God would heal her. Stacey was one of the most amazing, influential Christians I have ever known. She was a wonderful young wife and a phenomenal Mommy to her baby girl. If God had chosen to heal Stacey, there would have been so many people reached for His glory. God chose to take her, for reasons I will never know until I see Him face to face.
The second example is a lady I know that became a Christian at a very young age. For most of her grade school years, her father raped her on a regular basis. She remembers crying out to God to make her daddy stop. She believed with all her heart that God would help her, but the help never came for many years. By then, she was a shell of a person and felt completely worthless as a human being. As an adult she has turned from God because she has no reason to believe that He is real… Again, I do not understand and can not begin to comprehend…
I am not saying that I do not believe God and take Him at His word, because I do. What I am trying to say is that a simple pat answer “God will provide”, “God will protect”, “Trust God”, so on and so forth, is not the answer that the hurting Christian needs to hear. Sometimes there just aren’t any answers, and trying to slap a Bible verse on a gapping wound like some kind of all powerful Band-Aid, only makes things worse.
When Stacey died I was so angry with God and I was afraid to admit that to anyone. When I told Ruth Taylor how angry I was, she just hugged me and said that it was understandable. She told me to tell God how angry I was and work through the process of trusting Him again. I am still working through that process almost a full year later. Does that make me a weak Christian? Is God unable to use me for His Glory, because I have not completely let go of my anger and hurt? I don’t think so.
As for my friend who has turned her back on God, for not protecting an innocent little child that cried out to Him. I know that God can work it out and heal her heart. I know that God could use her in amazing ways, helping others and bringing Glory to his name. But I also know that it is easier to believe, when you are not the one in the middle of it.
So it is important for us to remember as Christians, before we throw out a “Band- Aid”. That God works with each of us individually, and He does not expect us to go through a traumatic event, or even a not so traumatic event, and be “Super Christians”. God says we “work out our salvation”. Philippians 2:12 Day by day a little bit stronger, day by day showing grace and mercy to fellow believers who are working out their own salvation, just like me.
9 comments:
Carol, we have talked about these things before and I am so sorry for your pain. I know that both of these situations (along with others) have shaped you into the woman you are today. I also know that the pain from these situations is with you every single day, somedays more than others yet still there. I can also see the process of healing.
There are so many things that I do not understand about God. He is so multi-faceted and bigger than I understand. For that I am grateful, I wouldn't want a God I could explain every part of. The questions you have asked are hard ones, yet sometimes without answers. For me this is where my faith comes in, where the rubber meets the road. Do I still trust God when the storms come? When there is injustice? When the innocent are hurt?
Granted I have never experienced either of these tragedies in my own life so I cannot say I understand or can relate.
I believe with all my heart that God does love us all. I believe that we live in a sinful fallen world where there is injustice and tragedy. I believe that satan is real that he has his way here on earth. I believe that God can take any hurt or tragedy and use it for His good if we let Him. We have all heard stories of amazing forgiveness and healing and that is what brings God the glory and beauty from ashes. Bitterness and hopelessness are easy to come; it is the healing and hope that is hard, that is why it is so amazing. The ministry and service to others that comes from the hard bad things in life is so much more valuable when it comes from someone that has walked a hard road.
I love ya sister!
I agree Jill, God is more complex than we could ever comprehend. God is God and I am not. Whew! That is a GOOD thing! ;) I hope I do not come across as saying I do not believe God is The Healer because I know that He is. You are right when you say that satan has his way on earth… I just think that as Christians we need to understand that this life is a constant process. A process of becoming more like Jesus, learning to trust, growing our faith and healing from the result of sin, (other’s and our own). My message is we need to be VERY careful not to give out the simple fix, or “churchy answers” to others. This is especially hard for Christians that have never experienced the depth of pain that I have described. Ruth Taylor will be the first to tell you that she had to really allow God to work in her life to be able to minister to other’s because she herself has never had to face any type of “tragedy”. The influence she has had on me and countless others shows that God can use you no matter where you have been (or not been). It is so true Jill, that the person who has walked on a similar road as the hurting individual can give something that no one else can. But as a friend, I know that I will not have walked similar roads as most of the other people God puts in my life, so what it really comes down to is being sensitive. Sensitive to The Holy Spirit, sensitive to other’s and portraying a spirit of humbleness. It is OK not to have all the answers. It is not OK to act like you do. When my 18 year old friend lost her baby to SIDS, the baby she had out of wedlock, the baby that had a daddy in jail, the baby that most people thought she never should have kept… When that baby died at 6 weeks old, I had no answers. I was at a complete loss of words. She called me and I rushed right over. I held her as she cried for over four hours and I did not say one word. I told her I loved her as I left. A few weeks later she asked Jesus to be her Savior. She said, so many people tried to say so many things, but my silence comforted her and she sensed God was with her. I do not say that to toot my own horn, I will be truthful and say I was only silent because I could not think of a thing to say. I was so uncomfortable and thought I was a horrible friend because I could not even speak when my friend was hurting so deeply. It just goes to prove that God does not need us to say just the right thing. Most of the times he just wants to use our arms for hugs and our ears for listening. Tough lesson for someone like me who loves to hear herself talk!
Carol, I love that your are so honest with your feelings, there are times when I get frustrated and angry about things that I don't understand, children being abused, kidnapped, all the violence in the world and that is almost overwhelming. Sometimes I get angry that why does God allow that? When I was about 15 my Grandpa committed suicide and it tore my family apart, I was angry at God for a long time that why did he allow that to happen. When I was 27 I went to a play like Judgement house, there was a scene where a man sat at a table, with a gun, and satan stood behind him telling him how worthless he was, that nobody cared for him, and he was a looser. And I realized satan knows our weaknesses and he prayed on that with my grandpa and he lost the battle. Because of that scene I asked the Lord into my heart that night at the play, he took something so tragic in my life and I was saved because of it.
I want to let you know I have to decided to pray for you everyday, I pray that you can let go of that pain. Your a great person, and know that God is always with you.
Thank you so much Wendi, I am glad to be growing my circle of friends with people like you. =) I am so happy to hear how God was able to turn something so painful in your life and turn it to joy. We truly have an AWESOME God! I look forward to spending time with you tomorrow night! ;)
Carol, I know that sometimes I have a tendency to give pat answers to others who are hurting, those "churchy" comments you mentioned. It is my goal though, to become a woman who is sensitive to the Lord and to others--knowing just the thing to say or do at just the right time to ease someone elses pain or encourage their growth. My transformation is definitely step-by-step, and I am thankful for people like you reminding me that sometimes we just don't have any answers.
We are in good company, though. The psalmist, David, didn't undertand it all the time either. In Ps. 77 he said, "Will the Lord cast off forever? and will he be favorable no more? Is His mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promise fail for evermore? Hath God forgotten to be gracious? Hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies?"
So, we know that God doesn't expect us to understand everything. And it is an encouragement to me that in the midst of it all, you have not lost your faith in Him!
I'm thankful to know you and will pray for God to be your comfort when there is no one else.
You are so right Ginger. We are ALL learning, and even David (a man after God's own heart) had intense struggles along the way. Thanks for being honest about what you are working on. I am glad that you feel safe to do that. The great thing is, God did not ask us to do it alone and we can be here for eachother, to help ease the "growing pains" a little. =)
Thanks again for your honesty... I love ya!
I have not been in those situations and honestly can't say I'd handle them well. It is really hard to know unless we are in the same situation how we would handle the tough times. I also have heard sometimes the best thing we can do is just be there, like you were for your friend. Sometimes there really are no words, and that is okay. I've heard so many times that the people who were just there during a struggle are the ones who meant the most. I am glad you got that chance and did just what God wanted you to do!!! You are a great example for all of us. Anyone who goes through a tough time and keeps their faith is a blessing to me! Thanks...
see you Sunday...
hey girl,
I really don't have anything different to add to the others' comments, so I will just tell you what has blessed me when I am hurting.
Did you ever see the movie, "Facing the Giants?"
(see it)
the scene where Grant struggled all night with the Lord and wouldn't stop wrestling until God gave him an awswer knocked me out, cuz, I think that we ask and then wait for an answer and sometimes we're not ready for the answer or God says I will only bless you so much or heal you so much, until we truly see God for who He is.
The other scene that blessed me was when Grant asked his wife If she would still serve the Lord even if they didn't have a baby???
Look at Job!
He was a righteous man given over to Satan for a season for one purpose only: to glorify God.
All of us have endured "stuff", some more than others, some less, and sometimes there is nothing else to say except, "God is STILL in control, God STILL loves you, God STILL has a plan for you.
Churchy answers, to be sure, and all together true.
Or, sometimes, just like you said, we need be quiet and simply love like Jesus.
Carol,
Life can be difficult. I have experienced a few very difficult and even traumatic situations in my life. As a believer, I hung on to all those scriptures, but it wasn't easy. It was the Holy Spirit at work in me that kept my faith strong even when I felt very weak. I knew that He carried me through, but that carrying through process was hard and even painful. I am remiss in thinking that because God promises protection and presence in my life things should not hurt so much, but they do. I can remember thinking...if I weren't a believer I honestly don't think I could make it. I makes my heart hurt when I see non-believers struggle with such hurt, for they really have no hope. When we are ministering to others I think that we must always be sensative, and always approach with much prayer. Sometimes the word that we know are true for us might not, at that time, bring healing for them. The presence of Jesus is the only thing that makes those Christian band-aids worth anything. I thank Him for the amazing healing that He has brought forth in my life.
You are soooooooo in my prayers, sister! Love ya... Beth
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